Pam's Take on Things
by Suki59
Summary: From Pam's perspective. Number 5 in my vamp series. Please read my other stories Thoughts in the Night, Taking Action, Eric's Story and One Year Later before starting Pam's Take on Things. Back to Normal is next in the series.
1. Chapter 1

Charlaine Harris owns the rights to all of this.

A/N: This is the fifth story in my series. Please enjoy Thoughts in the Night, Taking Action, Eric's Story, and One Year Later before starting Pam's Take on Things. Enjoy!

Pam

I know that my master still lives. I suspect that there is one other being who knows this as well, and I also suspect that she is with him right now. I smile to myself because I have spent a week at that house on the beach that Eric bought for Sookie, and it really is a beautiful place. When he first discovered it, he would call me from there and I could tell that he wanted to live there with her just by the way he talked about the house and the beach. I worried at the time whether that was such a good idea. I had seen how he had once become a ruthless monster after the loss of another human woman that he loved. I just never thought it was a good idea to become attached to a human that had no desire to be turned. It's funny, because in some ways Eric is the most practical vampire I know, and yet he is also a romantic sap, or at least has been twice that I know of in my undead lifetime. He is interesting if nothing else.

After I became his child, we were together for a very long time. I was an innocent as a human, but as a vampire my maker was also my lover. We both enjoyed sex with the humans we fed from, but also had a sexual connection with each other that was completely separate. He was kind and fair to me, taught me to be a stealth hunter of human prey and I embraced my new existence. I don't think that I could really use the word love to describe what he was to me. It's not something a human can really comprehend. He was my everything, my maker, my master. Over time, he most likely saw that I preferred human women for sex and feeding, although I dutifully submitted to him at his every request naturally. It never occurred to me that I had a choice, and I accepted that. So when he released me, you can't imagine how shocked I was and then how thrilled. I loved being a vampire and the prospect of being one and also not being beholden to another being sounded like heaven on earth to me. I traveled back to England where I felt comfortable, and then as I became more brazen, I traveled by ship to France and then made my way into Italy. I eventually settled into a small village by Lake Orta and remained there for a number of years. It was a beautiful place, and I found a nest of four vampires that I became acquainted with. From them I learned more about my kind and other beings. There was a pack of Weres that lived nearby, and we were natural enemies of course. I realized that Eric had kept a great deal from me and I suppose that he was protecting me in a way, but now when I think of how naïve I was when he released me, it's a wonder that I survived at all. My new vampire acquaintances told me that a war had broken out with the Fae, and they planned to go to battle. I wanted no part of that, and so I traveled south and settled near a medieval city called San Gimignano. I found the human population in the city to be bountiful, and I remained there for many years. I traveled to other parts of Italy as well and met many of our kind. I loved Venice, of course (who doesn't love Venice?), but found it difficult to relax there. I was always watching the sky, because there is no last minute going to ground in Venice. It was risky and thrilling, but no place for a vampire to live. (Of course, now there are five star vampire hotels there. It's a whole new world.)

When I was back in San Gimignano one night, I felt the call from my master. I had never experienced such a feeling, and you can't imagine the strength of the pull towards him. I began traveling south until the night I found him outside the ruins of Pompeii. I knelt before him, and I could sense a darker nature in him than I had known. Our years apart had rendered him more of a monster and I was afraid. I wondered how I had changed in his eyes. We stayed together there, feeding from the humans in nearby villages and enjoying the deserted grounds of Pompeii, finding shelter under the ancient buildings during the day. He told me that the war with the Fae required our presence, and he had called me to teach me to fight in battle. We became teacher and pupil once again, but this time there were no demands for sex. We both met our sexual needs with the humans we chose as our meals, and I was pleased with the new arrangement.

It was during this time that Eric and I were discussing human literature one night. Humans had always told tales of our kind, but never with any kind of accuracy. We were just one kind of devil that they imagined in the darkness, and we never felt threatened by such fairy tales. But one book was popular at the time by a man named Bram Stoker, and his depiction of vampires was uncanny and true. I assumed that he had made many enemies of our kind, and I told Eric that if someone hadn't already done so, that we should drain him ourselves for revealing so much. Eric stood over me and his eyes turned to ice as he raised his hand to strike me. I knelt and begged his forgiveness and waited to meet my final death, but then he stopped and simply walked away. I didn't see him for many nights, and when he did return, we never spoke of his anger.

When my training was complete, we traveled to Rome where outside the city the fighting was heavy in the war between vampires and Fae. Eric and I fought side by side in many battles and his grace was a sight to behold. One night we were sitting in the forest just the two of us after a long battle, and we were both quite intoxicated after drinking the blood of our enemies. Out of the blue, Eric told me that he had lived for decades with a human woman and she was the writer of the Bram Stoker novel that I had mentioned that had angered him so. I sat silently in shock as he told me their story, and I could hear pride in his voice when he spoke of her talent as a writer. And then I saw it. It was the briefest instant, in an unguarded drunken moment, but I saw it in his face. He had loved her.

I asked why she was not fighting by our sides. I assumed that he had turned her, for I couldn't imagine how else such a pairing could work. He became the dark and monstrous Eric that I had seen at our first reunion, and once again, I feared him. He said in a cold quiet voice that was more menacing than a voice raised in anger, "She is dead in the ground with all other human scum." And at those words, he rose and staggered off into the forest.

I didn't see or hear of Eric for many years after that. I was grateful that he had trained me and chosen not to strike me down for my drunken insolence on that final night in the forest.


	2. Chapter 2

After Eric's departure, I continued to enjoy my solitary and undead life roaming through Europe until the Great Revelation. Shortly after that, Eric called me to come to America to the state of Louisiana to help him run a bar he had opened. I dutifully reported to him, knelt at his feet and swore fealty in the usual manner. The Revelation had changed us all I suppose. Eric had become a practical opportunist, and used our status to make money from humans. He had acquired great wealth over the centuries naturally, so the money wasn't really what interested him. He became involved in the politics of our kind and had been appointed sheriff of the area in which he had settled. He wanted me to be a kind of business associate, an assistant in his dealings with humans and vampires alike. He was still uninterested in sex with me to my relief, although I would have done whatever he required to please him of course. He still had that darkness to his spirit, and seemed to feed from and fuck what we called the vermin who came into his bar with disdain. I could see that he was bored with them, and who can blame him? Very few of our kind live as long as he has, and I can only imagine the madness to which many have succumbed before meeting the sun.

Eric and I had fallen into a comfortable routine running Fangtasia and the local vampire population that swore fealty to him. I knew him better than anyone of course as his child, and I saw his interest peak the night Bill Compton brought his human companion into the bar. Sookie was beautiful and feisty, different from the usual humans that came to Fangtasia. We were all attracted to her, naturally. I couldn't believe that Compton of all people had caught her attentions and seemed to have won her affection as well. I could see how Eric would take it as a challenge to win her from Compton and I was glad to see that he had a new interest, a hobby to keep him from being bored. When we found out she was a telepath, Eric naturally calculated how he could use her to his advantage there as well.

Then Eric disappeared after Hallow's curse and everything in his world changed dramatically. I was relieved to hear from Sookie that he was at her house although I could not imagine why he was there, but we decided that it was probably safer for him to stay there until we found Hallow, and so she agreed to hide him in her home. We all trusted her at that point and so I was not worried for his safety.

It wasn't until the night we all assembled to plan our attack on Hallow and her coven that I realized what was happening to Eric. He was sitting beside Sookie holding her hand and his memory loss had softened the usual mask he had honed over the centuries, and I watched him as he looked at her. It took me back to the night in the forest when a drunken Eric spoke of his human writer, and I thought, my god, he loves her. This may be the end of him.

Fortunately, he fought with his usual grace that night, and Hallow was defeated. I was relieved to see that along with the curse, his memory of being at Sookie's house had also disappeared. I spoke to no one of course about what I suspected regarding my master's feelings. I actually felt sorry for Sookie. Human or not, I had grown fond of her myself and knew that it must pain her to see her former lover return to his cold monstrous self.

Sookie continued to amuse Eric and I felt that his attentions to her were back to the fairly innocuous casual sexual interest that he'd held for her before the curse, and I felt satisfied again that she was an amusing distraction for him and nothing more. But then when I learned that he had bonded with her in Rhodes, I felt a heavy foreboding. He had no idea at the time that he had loved her and as a result was unaware of just how tightly they would be bound.

Of course, by the time I learned of their bond, I was in her debt as well because she had saved my life in Rhodes. I knew her to be brave for a human, but I was astonished to learn that she had risked her own life to save Eric and me and then she stayed and saved countless others, both vampire and human, and I almost began to see how Eric could have fallen for her. She is truly special.


	3. Chapter 3

After the regime change when DeCastro took power, we were all under stress, but I saw a disturbing change in Eric. He stopped feeding. I had never heard of a vampire living entirely on synthetic blood, and I certainly never would have expected Eric of all people to lose interest in humans, especially human women. I became deeply concerned.

Sookie once again saved Eric as well as DeCastro in the parking lot of the bar in which she worked in Bon Temps. DeCastro pledged her protection and Eric and I delivered the news to her. I would have protected her with my life anyway after Rhodes and I am certain that Eric had been protecting her for much longer than that.

Eric became more and more unpredictable and darkly moody. I could not persuade him to feed, and he would snap at me for small things like changing clothes in his office, offering him one of my humans. I would watch him storm into his office and stay in there for hours at a time, and yet when he left, no work on his desk seemed to have been touched.

Then the night that Fangtasia was bombed, Sookie came in. I was glad to see her and hoped that she could cheer my master with her presence. I mistakenly sent her back to his office before I remembered that DeCastro was in there. I walked back to stop her and saw her in an awkward greeting outside of Eric's office before she ran crying to the bathroom. I explained to her that she needed to leave and she was upset that Eric had called her. I was pretty certain that she had not been called on that particular night as Eric would never want DeCastro to get his slimy hands on her. Fortunately, DeCastro left early and Sookie and Eric seemed to be having a pleasant evening. They even disappeared into his office and I hoped that he would at least taste her and get some real blood in his system. Then the bomb went off and I watched Eric leave with an unconscious Sookie and I saw that look on his face again. He loved her, only this time there was no memory loss. It was really the real Eric, the monster I had known for a very long time, and he loved a human. I should say another human.

Within days, Eric left to vacation with Sookie and I took over the renovations of Fangtasia. We spoke on the phone every night and the way he spoke of the beach he had found and Sookie, I was concerned that I would witness another fall into darkness after her death. I knew that she would never want to be turned, and I hated to see him become so attached again to a human who would leave him eventually. I had seen what he turned into after his loss of the woman writer, and I never wanted to see that side of him again. But then when they came home and I saw how happy they were, I thought maybe it would be worth it for him. He's certainly old enough to make his own decisions (funny, I know).

The night of DeCastro's final death, I was already at Fangtasia when I got a call from Clancy with the news. I tried calling Eric at home and on his cell as well as on a couple of disposable phone numbers I had with no luck. I stayed in touch with Compton all night, hoping that Eric would go to Sookie, but he was not there. Close to dawn, Victor Madden himself called to give his condolences. He said, "I don't need to tell you the news, of course. You are his child, are you not?" He assumed that I felt Eric's death through our bond.

"Yes, your highness." I knew to begin immediate ass-kissing.

"I thought you might want to know that he was staked in his bed—it was probably quick."

"Thank you for telling me."

"So, do you swear your allegiance to me and Clancy, your new sheriff?"

"Of course, your highness. I am your humble servant as well as my new sheriff's."

"Good girl. We'll talk soon." And he hung up.

I called Compton and relayed the news that I knew to be false, knowing that Sookie would be devastated. When I closed my eyes that night, I wondered where my master was and what he had planned and I dreaded this new chapter in a complicated world without his guidance. I longed for my simple solitary life in Italy many years ago.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning after Eric's supposed final death I decided that I needed to just put my big girl pants on and get on with it. Compton called and I went to console Sookie. She was a mess, but we got some food into her and I called Amelia to come home and see to her. Sookie has many good friends and any fool could see that Compton would do anything for her, so I wasn't terribly worried about her. I wished I could tell her that Eric still lived, but could not risk such a disclosure of course. Over the next weeks, our attorney called regarding the estate. Eric had pretty much split it down the middle between Sookie and me and I must admit I was kind of surprised at that. If he didn't return, she could marry some redneck human and live the high life on his money, but then that was really none of my business. I left the money he bequeathed me in place where our business manager had it invested for Eric and suggested Sookie do the same. She said, "I get it. If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Modern humans have some of the oddest expressions. I kept offering Eric's house to Sookie, thinking that maybe she would feel closer to him there, but she refused. Eventually I moved into it because I thought it might look suspicious if I left it empty for his return.

I asked Sookie one day if she felt anything where her bond with Eric once was. I was certain that theirs was a fairly strong one. When she described the feeling, I knew that she had no idea what the bond was or how to interpret the feelings, which was actually good. Eric was still safely hiding somewhere, and the fewer people who knew that the better.

I checked on Sookie periodically, but mostly kept tabs on her through reports from Compton. I knew that sometimes humans have been known to kill themselves after a grievous loss. I never thought Sookie to be the type—she was so strong—but I wanted to be certain that that was not a possibility. I had decided that if her suicide seemed imminent, then I would intervene. I have no idea what I would have told her, but I couldn't let that happen in case Eric planned to return to her someday. I also wondered if she might not fall in love with someone else, but then again Eric's return would put a stop to anything like that. After all, they were bonded and she clearly loved him as deeply as a human can love.

Before I moved my things into Eric's house, I found a letter that Sookie had given to Eric asking that he turn her in case of her accidental death. I must admit that I was shocked, and I immediately called Compton and told him that if he was with her and she died accidentally that he should turn her. He started to argue with me and I lied and said that it was a secret decree from Victor Madden and he was not to question it or ever speak of it, even to Madden himself. Sookie technically belonged to the new regime, and so Compton bought it. I thought, now wouldn't that be something of Eric came back and we had to tell him that she'd died in some stupid car wreck and we'd just let her go. Oh no, I wouldn't want to be there for that conversation. Thank goodness I found that letter. I gave it to Sookie along with a cheesy framed photo of her that was beside Eric's bed.

Sookie called me one day to tell me she was going to the beach house to put it on the market. I asked if she was sure that's what she wanted. I knew Eric would be pissed because he really loved that house and wanted to live there with her, but it's not as if I could tell her that. Oh well, I suppose he could just buy it again someday when he came back.

A few days later Compton called to tell me that Sookie had decided to stay in the beach house for awhile and not sell it yet, and that's when I knew. Eric was with her. I would have breathed a sigh of relief had I breathed. After that I called her fairly frequently, passing along news that I knew would reach my master. I almost laughed when she told me that she had lost her telepathic abilities, but I happily passed that along to Clancy, knowing that Madden would hear of it soon. Clever girl.

I called her last night to tell her that Victor Madden is dead. I am hoping that she and Eric return to Louisiana, and that he will want to resume his life here, but then part of me wonders if maybe they should just stay there. After all, when she is dead and gone, Eric will have an eternity to run businesses, rise to political power, live lifetimes full of achievements. This is the only chance for them to have true happiness together. It's hard for me to comprehend, but maybe he has the right idea. I know that he is very old and very wise. I should never question him. After all, he is my master.

XXX

A/N: Please enjoy my next story in the series, Back to Normal. Enjoy!


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